Maturity/Age in Law School 2006 August 17
Posted by queencru in Uncategorized.trackback
It seems like this is getting to be a big topic on here lately, so I figured I’d devote a post to it. I’m in my late 20s and I think that there is often a huge difference between people who have just graduated from college and people who have been out at least a year or two. I think most (but not all) people would benefit from taking at least a year off between undergrad and college, because it seems like many people are going into law school to extend the undergrad experience or because their parents thought it was the right thing for them to do. There are many people who have worked through college and are very mature at graduation and ready to go to law school right away.
I think that there’s the biggest disconnect between some older and younger women for very valid reasons. Older women without children are potentially giving up a chance to have their own biological children to go to law school. Those who do want children can’t work in a big law firm for 5 years to pay off loans, because by the time they get out and have been in the new job long enough to take maternity leave, they’ll most likely have to go on fertility treatment to be able to conceive. I’m not that obsessed with having biological children that it bothers me too much, but some women really want that. Women with children have to think about how it will affect their families and whether it is worth it to have the whole family make a big sacrifice for 3 years in the hopes that their lives will be better in the long run. A lot of self-doubt comes into play when you know your options coming out of law school will not be the same as your options are now, like it is for younger women.
schooled 
I’m not sure if the word “self-doubt” is the right one. Doubt enters into the picture while they’re making the decision — before law school ever starts. For the most part, by the time they actually enter law school, most older women have understood the tradeoffs, which replaces doubt with resignation.
From what I’ve seen, most of the self-doubt comes from younger women who wound up at law school because they didn’t really know what they wanted to do with their lives (and/or because they wanted a husband).
You make a good point. I never took a year off between high school and college, or between college and lawschool. But I have also been employed, almost consistently, since I was fifteen. Not to say this has provided me with the “life experience” that world travel or a “career” would have given me, but I have learned a signficant amount about people, the world, and myself through this. I beleive that, in comparison to my age-peer (not necessarily my life peers) that I am, in some ways, better off. Other 21 year olds may have never held a job in their life, are concerned about their social life, or are JUST starting their undergraduate education and haven’t a clue where they are headed in life. I feel as if I have at least *some* sense of direction – and an even stronger drive to get to that point. I don’t think I can be compared to the 21 year olds I know that have 2 kids and their MRS – and have already had it for a few years (NOT TO SAY THIS IS BAD, just saying that in comparison to law school life, this is *different*.)
I hope this clarifies my earlier comment. After your comment in this post about older women giving up the chance to have biological children due to their career, this might explain my comment about “jealousy.” Perhaps this may even be the wrong word. But if you think about the fact that some of these women may feel a pain that due to law school and their careers they can not obtain this – and that the younger women who enter school MAY be able to because they can’t – perhaps some form of “jealousy” may make sense. It may not even be conscious.
The only reason I mentioned this idea of “jealousy,” which I think you validated, is because I see it in how relationships evolve among and between these age groups.
But…I do agree with you now without generalizing on the whole….as long as you do realize there are *some* younger women who are mature enough to take on law school as they are 🙂
From what I’ve seen, work experience isn’t the key issue. Yes, people who work their way through high school and college are far more tolerable than the spoiled brats who don’t, but there’s still a marked gap in maturity in comparison to older women. It could be limited to his law school, but I doubt it.
Ultimately, I think that gap is due to long, hard, and (most importantly) honest introspection about what life choices to make and why.
The problem with the word “jealousy” is that it implies the young women actually have what the older women want. However, from my conversations I get the distinct impression that older law students believe it’s virtually impossible for any women — young lawyers included — to have both a family and a career.
It’s like the old MIT saying: Career. Motherhood. Sanity. Choose two.
That said, work experience often helps with introspection — I just haven’t seen it help as much as the reality of aging, fertility, and families.
That said, I think how affluence and family intersects is central to this discussion. Since most law students come from relatively affluent families, the younger a law student is, the less likely she is to have friends with children. Consequently, there’d be no reason (let alone way) to think realistically about work/family conflicts.
i think i ‘m just an older soul. everyone thinks i am older than i am which is why the women a few years older are gravitating to me moreso and i dont mind it. i think we also need to look at the TYPE of person these girls we are discussing represent. many of them have had everything: the friends, the clothes, the looks. they have been privelaged and feel so and thus tend to band together. no one has ever excluded them and thus to keep themselves from ending up so, they exclude others.
we also need to look at the undergraduate experience. generally speaking these were the people who were socially out there whether or not in sororities. they probably never had to deal with older people in their lives, let alone socialize with them. at my UG we had a number of older students coming back to change careers or finally get the education they dreamed of. i made it a point to speak to those in my class and get some different perspectives. i believe the person returning to school has a lot to share (that is if they arent trying too hard or just really awkward).
like lily said, it has much to do with affluence and family and how that has shaped the things people have had and those they have interacted with.
“no one has ever excluded them and thus to keep themselves from ending up so, they exclude others.
That’s an excellent reading, steph.
Will add more later, but I’ve got Torts to read… :-O
I agree that Steph made some great points- especially about the exclusion. I think everyone’s in the situation of wanting to fit in, but a lot of younger, more social people have never lived alone or been in a situation where they had a lot of time to think about things. They’re still at the point in their lives where they think that someone who doesn’t have a full social schedule must be some sort of social reject, and are terrified that a Friday night may roll by without some big social event to attend. They do whatever they need to appear to be part of the “cool” group and be accepted.
Once you get into the workforce, you quickly realize that some weekends you’re just so exhausted that you want to relax one weekend, and that your friends aren’t going to desert you because that’s what you decide to do. College friendships are just so much more intense and time consuming than adult friendships that it is hard for some people to adjust. I’ve known people in their late 20s who still hadn’t adjusted.
[…] In Steph’s comments to Queen Cru, she says that no one has ever excluded them and thus to keep themselves from ending up so, they exclude others. […]
However, from my conversations I get the distinct impression that older law students believe it’s virtually impossible for any women — young lawyers included — to have both a family and a career.
This is defeatist b.s.
JS
This is defeatist b.s.
Someone needs to learn how to research something before commenting on it.
…And how to form a valid argument.
Or an argument at all, let alone a valid one.
It’s not an argument, although I agree with the statement. You may need/want to take time off during the infant/toddler years, but once the kids get into school, working full-time and being a mother is well within the range of possibility. I know few people who had stay-at-home moms, indicating that career+family is very normal. That isn’t to say that there is no such thing as a mommy track, because I think there is, but I think that shows a problem with the American workplace as a whole demanding so much time from its employees while other countries work much fewer hours per year and have more leisure time.